How College Has Changed Me

When I went home after the first week of classes and I’d been there for about fifteen minutes, I thought to myself, Man, I just can’t wait to get back to my dorm. That’s how I knew things had changed. I didn’t have much of my stuff at home and everyone is trying to see me to ask how things are going and it was just a bit more stressful, I feel, than the trip should’ve been. I also had a moment where I had to drive somewhere and I just kept on thinking about how it would be so much more convenient if I could just walk there.

I just feel like I don’t quite fit at home anymore. I feel like an actual adult on my own now and when I come home there is still this expectation that I have to do what my family wants me to. I still miss a lot of things about home, but I just seem to belong here at Ohio University, like a missing piece to a puzzle, and that makes me so happy and confident with who I am becoming.

Throughout high school I maintained this reserved persona, never stepping out of my comfort zone, never wanting to interact with others, or even feeling judged. I was in a very negative head space and just hated everything about my high school career, but it’s not like that here. Since I’ve come to OU I have been a lot more social and completely unafraid to put myself out there to try new things and meet new people. It’s like I’ve taken on a new form of confidence within myself and I can’t help but think it’s because of the welcoming atmosphere on campus and in my classes. I feel very free and liberated when I am here, as if high school, or even home sometimes, is a cage. I am just so much more open and I am entirely who I want to be when I am at school.

Since I have moved to college, my mom, Elaine Stefanick, has noticed that some things have changed. Mainly, she sees that I’m doing more things like cleaning and laundry or going to the doctor and taking on the “adulting” responsibilities that she never thought I had in me. She says, “I see more independence and self sufficiency and I think she's starting to realize what things cost and you’re like ‘This is 8 bucks!’ and she's appreciating ways on how to save money. She was always responsible, but I think she's more intentional where before it was like, well mom will handle it and she’d roll your eyes, but I would handle it.”

Obviously there is this sort of physical aspect of change where, because I am living in a dorm on my own that I have to do these things to maintain myself here, but there is also this idea of social change that I have sensed within myself, more so than my parents have perhaps seen in me due to our separation. From my point of view, I have been able to feel myself growing, not only into adult life, but into the truest form of my personality. I don’t feel different from when I came here, I feel better.

My dad, Arthur Stefanick, says, “She's gained a lot of independence and I think she really likes being independent and she feels happier and it’s good to be able to stretch out. I think she’ll do well and that reminds me of me when I was her age. I didn’t have to move out, but I wanted to move out and do it all on my own and I think she's that way too. Although I’m proud of her and want you to grow up and take these steps, I still want her to be my little girl.”

My mom ends the conversation on this note, “I think that because I’m seeing her flourish down there that it has made it easier for me to let her do her own thing because I know she's doing it. People ask me, ‘Do you miss Emma?,’ and I say, ‘Of course I miss her, but it’s not overwhelming.’ There’s nothing more satisfying than raising an independent child.” Isn’t it just wonderful to see how much my parents have grown