Don't Compromise on Happiness

People used to ask me, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I always said I wanted to be a writer, but I didn’t know what type of career I wanted to pursue. I knew only that I wanted to write. Adults would tell me how I was going to do something great, revolutionary, or captivating and they would engage in an overly excited conversation with me. It made me feel like I was on top of the world. Anything seemed possible in the mind of a child. As I grew older, adults would lead me on with their encouragement, tell me how great it was and that I could do anything, but they never meant it. Now they only say things like, “You have to be realistic,” or “You won’t make any money in that career,” but what happened to childhood encouragement? It seems long forgotten, my dreams being only mere child’s play. As kids, everyone tells us to be what we want to be, to aim high, and to achieve our wildest dreams, but as we grow older, that encouragement fades to remarks of reality. The realities of school, work, money, relationships, and generally of life.

My dad has always been very supportive of the things that I do, but to him, pursuing a career in journalism was unthinkable for me. I was always too smart in his eyes to be wasting money on a degree that will get me a low paying job. I wasn’t being realistic, he would say. Repeatedly, I was told to go to school and do something that will make more than enough money so I wouldn’t have to struggle financially. Six figures straight out of college, that was always his magic number of approval. That just seemed realistic to him. However, writing is my passion and that was something my dad didn’t understand. He never realized it was a gift of mine and he continued to shoot me down until he read some of my work and his concept of reality slowly began to meet mine.

The truth is that realistically everyone is going to struggle, it’s inevitable, but we have to choose how we handle our struggles. I’ve realized that I can’t compromise my happiness because in the end, I’m the one that has to live with the repercussions. This idea presents a versatile function in the way it can be applied to life because it is not just about work or school. It’s about the limitations that others have set for us and how they define who we will become. It’s about giving up what we need or love for someone else’s vision of what should be happening.

Now it may not seem like I’m telling a story about who I am, but here’s the secret. I’ve done a lot in my life, however it’s all been within the limits of school and family. None of it has ever been for who I wanted to be. I was never allowed to try new things, things my family hasn’t done or didn’t have interest in. For example, I was criticized at first for joining the school tennis team because I “just wasn’t an athlete.” Turns out, I love tennis and consider it a part of my identity. Last year, I sang in a talent show and I was complimented heavily, but my family still tried to talk me out of it. The reason being - I’ve yet to learn. My point comes down to this: I was forcibly molded into my family’s limitations to the point that I was them and not myself. I am tired of being held back. I am ready to pursue the truest version of myself. If I can’t pursue a future that makes me happy, then realistically, what kind of life am I living?